In 1976, after being a Catholic priest for ten years – including being a regional chaplain for the Knights of Columbus, a six-year teacher of religion in three diocesan Catholic High Schools, a three-year member of the Green Bay Diocesan Board of Education, a two-year chaplain to the Menominee, Michigan and Marinette, Wisconsin Catholic Women’s Junior League, a speaker on the history of the Sacraments at Men’s Cursillo Retreats, a giver at High School Retreats, and a member of the Diocesan Priest Senate – I requested laicization from the priesthood (an honorable discharge rather than simply walking away from the priesthood as so many other priests did).
I had fallen in love with a divorced woman who had a small child. I was disheartened by the Roman Catholic Church: which myopically and patriarchally continued to demand celibacy for all its priests (no marriage either before or after ordination); who continued to withhold any equality or leadership rights for women, no matter their education and devotion to the church; who stubbornly refused any welcome to LGBTQ people; and who put divorced Catholics through a nightmare of paperwork showing why their previous marriage should be given a Decree of Nullity before allowing them remarriage in the Catholic Church.
The Diocese generously gave me a severance check of $450 for ten years of dedicated service. I had never been accused of any wrongdoing, but received many honors and thanks for the work, sermons, and religious work I performed. When my laicization (honorable discharge) finally came through, I was given a two-page list of things I would no longer be allowed to do for the church or its organizations. They listed things I was forbidden to do in the future as a laicized priest: I could not perform any functions whatsoever of Holy Orders (with the exception of Administering Penance or Anointing someone in case of immediate dying or death); not to conduct any liturgical or religious services whatsoever in the presence of people, in places where my condition was known; in no circumstances to preach; not to carry out pastoral duties associated with Sacred Orders; not to hold positions of administration, spiritual direction, or teaching in any school, Catholic or non-catholic; not to reside and seek employment inside the area in which I am known as a priest, unless the local Ordinary granted a dispensation from this stipulation (The Green Bay Bishop did dispense me from this condition when I was hired at Aurora BayCare Medical Center as the Head Chaplain); and I was to observe the directives of the local Ordinary concerning the secrecy or divulging my leaving the priesthood, dispensation (laicization) and my getting married. They were afraid I would give scandal somehow, as though the grace/love of God I had so generously shared with others would now turn to acid rain.
I remember those days. Missed you after you left Lena. I fell away from the church in college, married a man when in the Air Force and moved to Indiana.
I too remember you from St Charles, Lena. I had my first communion as we sang ” this little light of mine” holding our communion candle. except my flame went out. Lol as a young child I was mortified.
My favorite memories of you were when you came in classroom with guitar and sang.
We especially loved there’s a hole in the bucket. And something about granny’s lye soap.
God Bless
Amy, Thanks for your message and remembering me and the guitar. I liked Little Chute very much, but I didn’t get along with Fr. Vosbeck very much so I was moved to Oshkosh. I lived with Fr. McKeough and we got along very well. I taught at Lourdes
High. But then the Diocese asked me to travel up to Marinette where the pastor, Fr. Hogan, was having a hard time with the various assistant priests: some stayed out late, one played his recorded music too loud, etc. Fr. Hogan and I hit it off very well. I taught at Catholic Central where I even helped coach the freshman football team. Our grade school had a very attractive blond lady Lutheran teacher who was divorced with two children, a boy eight and a girl ten. I began seeing Darlene off and on and began to fall for her. She also liked it when I sang for her. But then I met another blond lady who was divorced with a young four year old daughter. She had long blond hair and had dated married men, businessmen and lawyers and such, but when she met me, she fell for me and I fell for her. The diocese hoped to save me by making me pastor at Holy Cross, Lena, which also had a grade school. I taught religion along with my guitar and loved it, but gradually I fell in love and on my tenth anniversary as a priest, I resigned and married Sue. We were married ten years, but I wasn’t good at making money so she finally divorced me and ended up marrying a wealthy chemical engineer in Chicago. I went back to school and got a couple degrees, one a Master of Theological Studies, at St. Norbert College. After trying to sell business insurance for a couple years, I took a Hospital Chaplain course and became the Head Chaplain at the new Aurora BayCare Medical Hospital in Green Bay for ten years before retiring. I am now a writer, living in Shawano, married to a great woman who had raised nine children until her businessman husband walked out on her. I just published a book called RECHRISTENING AMERICAN CHRISTIANS, published by Amazon, and I’m working on a second book, a book of fiction, that takes
place in Jerusalem, called THE JESUS DIG. I still play guitar and sing and write a few songs here and there. I still sing
“There’s a Hole in the Bottom of the Lake” and “Granny’s Lye Soap” and a host of other songs. I sing in two parish choirs and now and then at funerals.
What about you? What are you doing? Are you married? Children? I hope things are going well for you.
Blessings and Health, Mike Murphy